I had planned on writing this post at the beginning of the year but, well, it’s now the end of March and here we are. Thought I’d have some fun and answer questions that I keep getting asked.
Has life changed since Gio was adopted in July? Nope! He’s still the same little boy, but now 4. Okay, so maybe it has changed a little. Did I mention that he’s now a 4 year old boy and that comes with so many things like rolling on the floor with laughter after farting, and running around the house naked (even when mommy is on Zoom calls), and being incredibly independent, and so much more. But it’s all wonderful! I keep reminding myself that he’s doing everything a 4 year old boy should be doing and that’s a good thing!
Do I feel any less stressed or less anxious since the adoption? 100%. I no longer have to worry about the bio mom coming back into the picture or her changing her mind. I will give it to her that she fought like hell to keep him. Good for her…hard for me. We also don’t have any of the regular monthly social worker visits. They were easy towards the end, but it was just another thing to do. I also don’t have to get permission to get his haircut or write up a report if he gets a scratch or a bruise.
When are you getting Gio a little brother or sister? You’re funny!
Would you recommend fostering to other families? I would encourage families to seek out other folks who have fostered and get multiple view points. I think mine was a somewhat rare case in that it took 3 1/2 years from the time I brought Gio home until the adoption. During that time I had a new social worker who made a few mistakes that delayed the process, a bio mom who changed her mind about termination at the 12th hour which delayed the process by 6 months, and COVID. In the end it was worth it, but it was it was a very long journey with Social Services.
Would you recommend private adoption? Oof. I’m not sure. I know folks who were very successful with their private adoptions. I got hit with bad luck between an agency filing for bankruptcy at my one year mark followed by three failed adoptions (the last one after I flew out to Cleveland to pick up the little boy at the hospital). It’s expensive and there are agencies who only care about getting your money. If you do the private adoption route, I would encourage you to work with a consultant to help find the right agency for you.
What’s it like being a single mom, running your own business, and raising a toddler? It’s hard! I’m not going to sugar coat it. Parenting is hard no matter if you’re doing it by yourself or with someone else. Raising a child to be happy, healthy, respectful, and all those good things is hard. It’s hard. But, I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have a village that is supporting me. I have a wonderful family who watches Gio when I’m able to sneak away for a night or two or even for a few hours. We have aunties, uncles, and neighbors who adore him and treat him like he is theirs. We have awesome and responsible teenagers in the neighborhood (and a few just outside the neighborhood) who I fully trust to babysit Gio and whom I know adore Gio as much as he adores them. I have the most amazing women who watch him at daycare who are teaching him Spanish, and colors, and numbers all while having fun. Yes, it’s hard but I’m not doing it alone.
What are your summer plans? It’s hard to think about summer considering it’s been raining non stop here since (it feels like) November. But, Gio will be meeting his family in Ireland this summer. He’s met some of them, but he’s in for a treat with the others. It’ll be awesome…once we get past the 12 hour flight.
Leave a Reply