“For a New Beginning”

It’s been 4 months since I legally became a mom and it still surprises me and catches me off guard when someone refers to G as “your son”. Sure he’s been with me for more than 3 1/2 years but I guess I never called him “my son”. It was always G or his full name or little man. But, we’re in the pattern of our little family, still working out what works and what doesn’t and adapting to life as it comes to us. It’s a learning curve for both of us. He’s never been 3 1/2 before and I’ve never been a mom of a 3 1/2 year old little boy that has far too much energy, likes to jump on the couch after being told 100 times not to, finds it fun to color on the walls and the windows, that is very picky about what shoes he wants to wear…you get the point.

This weekend I heard a poem that really moved me as I thought about the 6 1/2 year journey to parenthood. The person who shared it spoke about the improv mentality of “Yes, and…” which I found ironic considering I did improv for a few years back in the day and my cousin made a “Yes &” coaster which I use every day (image above). She also spoke of the foundation that is needed in order to get beyond the “Yes” and to move to the “and” part. During the adoption process it was a lot of “Yup, this sucks and I’m going to move forward.” or “Yes, I do have control over how I react to this and I’m going to make some damn good lemonade!” Having a solid foundation of friends and family to support me was critical.

For the person who needs a little pick me up, is having a hard time seeing the sun beyond the clouds, or just enjoys poetry, here it is.

For a New Beginning by John O’Donohue

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.