Here We Go Again

I don’t know where to start with this post so I’m going to type and see what shows up here.

February 4th, 2021 we had a court hearing to terminate the parental rights. To our surprise, the bio-mom agreed to the termination and her lawyer stated for her that it was in the best interest of little man to be with me. Immediately following the court hearing the social worker called me to explain what had just happened (I was so shocked by it) and then stated that within 2-3 weeks an adoption counselor would be assigned to me and within 3-4 months the entire adoption would be finalized.

April 16th, 2021 (last Friday) I get an email from the social worker (after I emailed her with questions) and she tells me that she hasn’t done the paperwork required to assign an adoption counselor to me. She’s hoping to get it done by the end of April. After that it will take 5-8 weeks before an adoption counselor is even assigned to me. Then we start the adoption process. It’s been 2 1/2 months since the court hearing and she hasn’t done anything at all.

This morning, April 20th, I find out that bio-mom filed an appeal on March 17th. 5 weeks ago and I’m just finding out about it this morning. She now wants little man back – after she had her lawyer state in court that she didn’t want him. So, now we all have to go back to court, I get put on trial, the social worker gets put on trial, and we start the process again.

To say that I’m exhausted, fed up, disappointed, and pissed would be a total understatement. The social services system is broken and it’s hurting the children and the families that have opened their arms and hearts to these children. Bio-mom’s rights and feelings are all they care about yet she has done absolutely nothing to prove that she is capable of being a mom, let alone a good one. Bio-mom said she didn’t want him and she believes he’s better with me. She’s had more than 2 years to think about it! Why are we wasting everyone’s time with the stupid back and forth? It’s costing you, a tax payer, hundreds of thousands of dollars (if not millions) in extra costs every year.

Because little man isn’t legally mine, there’s a lot that I can’t do. I can’t take him more than 120 miles away from home now. Not just without permission, I can’t take him at all. He cannot be more than 120 miles from my home. I can’t be away from him for more than 24 hours without him going to a new home (respite) that he doesn’t know. If I get sick enough with COVID that I can’t take care of him, he will be placed in a home he doesn’t know until I get better. He can’t even be placed with my family or friends. I technically can’t even get his haircut without county approval. Every scrape and scratch he gets I have to file a report with social services – you do know what 2 year old boys are like, right?

I’m exhausted so let’s cut the BS and let us all move on.