Dear Hoda Kotb,

thumb_facts and myths

Dear Hoda,

Congratulations on your second adoption. I can only imagine the amount of joy that you and Joel are now feeling.

I was excited when I heard the news this morning while watching “Hoda and Jenna”. But, when Jenna and Savannah interviewed you, my heart stopped and I became angry at something that you said.

To imply that all waiting families have to do is to wish for a child and say it out loud, even in a whisper, is ignorant and insulting. I, and many many other families, have spent thousands of dollars, worked with countless agencies, have had adoptions fail after birth, have flown across the country last minute to pick up their child to only have the birthmom change her mind, some have even brought children into their home only to have a birthparent decide they want the baby back, and so much more. I can guarantee you that we all wished, we all said it out loud, and we all wanted a baby as much as you wanted your beautiful little Haley and her little sister, Hope.

There is a large misconception about adoption that you take a number and you then get called and you get the “next available baby.” That’s not the case and unfortunately the way you have talked about the adoption implies that it is and that your case is the norm. But it’s not.

There are thousands of families and single people like myself who have waited 2, 3, 4, 5, and more years for a child to come into their life. What’s realistic is that a lot of us had to give up that dream because we couldn’t afford to write another check with three and four zeros. What’s realistic is that there are countless families that had to give up the dream because after multiple failed adoptions we couldn’t stand the heartbreak. What’s realistic is there are countless families that had to give up the dream because our trust in agencies was gone after we had thousands of dollars stolen. What’s realistic is there are countless families whose marriages failed because of the stress. I can guarantee you that we all wished, we all said it out loud, and we all wanted a baby as much as you wanted one.

I ask that you please do not simplify the adoption process and imply that all waiting families have to do is wish for it and say it out loud. You got lucky…twice…in two years…with what appears to be incredibly fast and easy adoptions. Most of us haven’t been so lucky.

 

3 thoughts on “Dear Hoda Kotb,

Add yours

  1. Maeve,
    I am so proud of you for writing this reply to Hoda. I hope you sent it to her. My heart goes out to you. Love, hugs, and keep hoping.

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