The Start of Year Four

The end of your first year of being “live” (approved for adoption) is difficult. If you haven’t been fortunate enough to adopt during that time you have to start a lot of the work all over again. The first year is hard because you probably won’t be “live” for a full year before it all starts again – paperwork, homestudy, doctors appointments…This also means more checks to be written. During this first year you’ll also probably find yourself not making any vacation plans..just in case.

The end of the second year is easier in that you know what to expect, but you may start questioning why you’re trying to adopt and if it will ever happen. You were sure you’d beat the odds and hope that by this time you would have your child. Or, you could be considering a second adoption because the first has already been completed. You somewhat get back to life before you started adoption in that you start considering vacations, home improvements and other time and money related items.

By the end of the third year, if you haven’t yet adopted, you become somewhat numb. You’ve been presented in (hopefully) a lot of match meetings, probably matched and waited for the birth of what you hope to be your son or daughter, and although you get excited, you know that nothing is final until paperwork is signed…nothing is final until paperwork is signed. You contain your feelings and don’t have highs and lows anymore. You may get excited about a call or a possible opportunity, but you’re more realistic now. You know the process and how quickly it can change with no warning.

This month starts my fourth January of trying to adopt. It was January 2016 when I started the process and I’m still on it. Am I numb…yes. Am I tired…yes. Have I given up…not yet. The process is still teaching me a lot about life, myself,  and what I want and until I stop learning, I won’t stop trying.