I’m incredibly lucky to have parents who have always supported me. They may not have always liked what I have done/do, but I know that they support me. 99% of the time they like and approve what I do, but every now and then… 😉
When I completed my homestudy and was approved for private adoption, I remember my dad saying “you’ll be picked fast because…” What came next was a list of things “you have a great family…you are at a good age…you have a great job…you’re friendly…you deserve this…” The list can go on and on.
What we didn’t know was that none of that could matter to birth parents. Sometimes they pick families/parent because the shirt on the front of their profile is blue. Sometimes they don’t pick a family/parent because the shirt on the front of their profile is blue. There is no rhyme or reason and no algorithm to figure out who will be selected. One set of birth parents didn’t want to deal with the selection process so they had the agency pick for them. The agency picked me. (that turned out to be failed adoption #2).
If you’re not picked by birth parents, don’t worry and definitely don’t take it personally. Sometimes you just never know. Part of the adoption process is learning to let go and accepting things as they are.
Next time someone says “You’ll be picked because…” smile and know that there’s no real answer.