Before I started the adoption process, I thought that birth moms were teenagers, they accidentally got pregnant, they had no goals in life, were irresponsible, didn’t care about their baby/babies and that adoption was the easy path for them.
Having been on the adoption journey for 2 1/2 plus years, I now know that that is partly true for some but there are a lot of birth moms who aren’t like this at all…a lot!
Unfortunately my first failed adoption experience wasn’t good – lying, deceit, scam…(you can read all about that in a post I’ll write later). The second failed adoption wasn’t bad, but I listened to my gut and knew it wasn’t a good fit for me (blog to come later). But the third failed adoption opened my eyes. I wasn’t dealing with “awful” kids. As I sat in the hospital cafeteria talking to the birth mom, birth dad and grandma, the reality of it all set in. I was expecting this woman who had just carried her son for 9+ months and who had just given birth, to hand over her baby boy to a lady who lived about 2,000 miles away and knew very little information on. Think about it. You carry a baby to full term and then hand him/her/them over to someone else – a stranger. I can’t imagine what that must be like.
So often we think only of the adoptive parents in this process. But that’s only half the story. I recently found this video. It’s a young mom who is letting another man and woman raise her little boy. It’s heartbreaking and beautiful and will (hopefully) give you a different perspective on birth parents.
Birth parents are a huge part of the story for sure, but also adoptees!! You’re right, most of the stories we hear are from the adoptive parents perspective, but thankfully more birth parents and more adoptees are speaking out to share their story, in hopes that it changes the adoption narrative. Step by step!