Before I started the adoption process, I thought that birth moms were teenagers, they accidentally got pregnant, they had no goals in life, were irresponsible, didn’t care about their baby/babies and that adoption was the easy path for them.
Having been on the adoption journey for 2 1/2 plus years, I now know that that is partly true for some but there are a lot of birth moms who aren’t like this at all…a lot!
Unfortunately my first failed adoption experience wasn’t good – lying, deceit, scam…(you can read all about that in a post I’ll write later). The second failed adoption wasn’t bad, but I listened to my gut and knew it wasn’t a good fit for me (blog to come later). But the third failed adoption opened my eyes. I wasn’t dealing with “awful” kids. As I sat in the hospital cafeteria talking to the birth mom, birth dad and grandma, the reality of it all set in. I was expecting this woman who had just carried her son for 9+ months and who had just given birth, to hand over her baby boy to a lady who lived about 2,000 miles away and knew very little information on. Think about it. You carry a baby to full term and then hand him/her/them over to someone else – a stranger. I can’t imagine what that must be like.
So often we think only of the adoptive parents in this process. But that’s only half the story. I recently found this video. It’s a young mom who is letting another man and woman raise her little boy. It’s heartbreaking and beautiful and will (hopefully) give you a different perspective on birth parents.