Excited, Nervous, Scared and Anxious (OH part 1)

It’s April 12^th and it’s been exactly a week since I received a call from one of my adoption agencies about being matched with a birth mom, J, and birth dad, F.  They are located in OH. J’s due date is Sunday – 10 days after I got the “you’re matched” call.  We’re still not sure what the delivery date will be but considering she hits full term on Sunday, it’s soon…really really soon.

I’ve already booked my flight, car, hotel the first few nights and AirBnB for the two + weeks after J and F sign the papers to let me adopt the little guy.  My heart is still racing, my head is spinning.  My world is about to be thrown into overdrive in a few days.  I’m excited, nervous, scared and anxious.

Later in the day I talk to my social worker at my agency and she tells me not to fly out the next day.  We need to get a better idea as to when J will deliver and from there I should book my tickets and accommodations. I decide not to completely cancel all my plans, rather, I change everything to Monday, April 16^th.  J is due Sunday so Monday seems realistic.  I can always change again if I need to.

Most birth moms have a C-section because it’s helpful to have a set day and time and, the birth mom will know exactly what to expect and it’s controlled.  J, however, has decided to give birth naturally. I’m not sure why, but it’s her decision. I need to hold on and be ready to fly out at a moments notice if need be.

I have confided in a few people about this adoption. Not that I don’t trust others with this information, but I’m for the most part, a pretty private person.  I don’t want to tell everyone in case it doesn’t go through (like with K in September).  So many people were affected by that failed adoption that I have a sense of ownership not to disappoint them again. But, all signs are pointing to the fact that in less that a week I’ll be a mom to a beautiful little baby boy I plan to call Liam.

The social workers and my consultant all agree this is an ideal situation.  J put her first baby up for adoption and had an abortion for the second baby.  This is now her third pregnancy and given her financial situation and state of mind, it’s a done deal.  I’ve went out and bought a few newborn boy outfits, cleaned out the closet and removed all the baby girl clothes (the first failed adoption) and am ready.  I’m excited, nervous, scared and anxious.