So now that I’m researching adoption – and there’s a ton to research – I have gone to a book store and picked up some adoption books. It was very bizarre going to the front desk of the store and asking for such books. It really put the whole process into step. It’s the verbalization of it that makes the whole process real to me.
I’ve also spent a lot of time looking online for adoption resources and there are a lot out there. The process is going to be a lot harder than I had expected and at the end of it, there’s a chance that I might not have a child.
A few months into this process I still have no idea what I want to do. Today I am think inga different thought than what I was thinking yesterday and what I’ll think tomorrow. I wish the decision was easy but it’s not.